The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.

“It’s a period,” reported Johnnie.

“Well I can see that,” she said, “But what is so exciting about a period.”

“Damned if I know,” said Johnnie, “But this morning my sister said she missed one.

Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself.”

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.

She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

REAL SMOOTH - This guy gets around his house in one fluid smooth motion. Slick and cool ad.

WORLD’S FUNNIEST COMMERCIALS - Funny commercial involving a ‘pregnant’ woman and Mexican food.

PERFECT GETAWAY - These guys got it down to perfection when planning their escape after a heist.