There was a man named Sulio and Sulio knew EVERYONE in the whole world!!! Once when Sulio got a new job, Sulio says to his new boss, “Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!” His boss doesn’t believe him, so he says “No you do not know everyone in the whole world” but Sulio says “Yes I do!” so Sulio’s boss says “Well prove it!” then Sulio says “Pick someone… and I know them!”

Well Sulio’s boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. “Tom Selleck! I bet you don’t know Tom Selleck!” Sulio says “Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!” but Sulio’s boss says “No you weren’t!” then Sulio says “Yes we were!” so they fly to Hollywood and drive up to Tom Selleck’s house. Sulio knocks on the door and Tom Selleck answers and Sulio goes “Tom!!!” and Tom goes “Sulio!” and they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Sulio’s boss can’t believe it. But then he thinks “Well that could happen, it’s just one person,” so he tells Sulio and Sulio says “OK, pick somebody else!”

This time Sulio’s boss has someone in mind! “The president, Bill Clinton! You don’t know Bill Clinton!” but Sulio says “Oh yes I do! Bill and I were on debate team together in college!” Sulio’s boss says “No you weren’t!” and Sulio says “Yes we were!” so they fly to Washington and they catch up with the President at a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Sulio get’s close enough to catch Clinton’s eye and waves “Bill!” and the President waves “Sulio!” and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Sulio’s boss is stunned– he can’t believe it. But then he thinks “Well that’s just two people in one country– that doesn’t mean he knows everyone in the whole world!” so he tells Sulio and Sulio says “OK, pick someone out of the world spectrum and I know them!”

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An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

During the final days at Denver’s old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.

A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”

The agent replied, “I’m sorry sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “Do you have any idea who I am?”

Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.

“May I have your attention please?” she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17.”

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore “(Expletive) you.”

Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to stand in line for that, too.”

The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly. Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no longer angry at United.