Sure we all are no strangers to the familiar errors we see on our computers. But catching these error messages in the computers around town is not as common. Here are a few nice snapshots caught around the city.
1. Word processors never display a cursor.
2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
3. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.
4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
5. Those that don’t will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing “ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES” on any keyboard.
7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing “UPLOAD VIRUS.” Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.
8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain’s desktop computer, even if it’s turned off.
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Some very good suggestions to Microsoft for their next version of Windows. Some of these error messages will make so much more user-friendly especially since users are already executing them anyway.
• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
• BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.
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Do you have any nostalgia about the days when computers were big and slow? Now the size, appearance and speed of first computers seem to be lame but it was not always the case!
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